Happy 3rd Birthday Isabella

Isabella is 3 years old today (considering it is after midnight as I'm writing this.) I can't believe it - I know it is so cliche to say "Time flies", but really it does. On this date, 3 years ago at 3 in the morning our precious Isabella was born. It was a Sunday and we knew nothing of her or her birthmother. Right now her birthmother was probably in labor, I was probably getting ready for bed. Right now, I was totally clueless to the fact that I was going to be a mommy the next day. I can't even express to you how much I wish I was there, not the one giving birth to her because then she wouldn't be who she is, but just there to hold her the very first moments of her life. You all will have to be patient with me because I promise you that the next few days I might be doing the emotional posts-- its one of those 3 years ago today..... type of things that you will be hearing a good bit of. As I was thinking of Isabella's birthday and as I've been planning her birthday party (side note here, today when I showed Isabella the little dress that she is going to wear to her party she said in a cute little whispery voice "Wow, Is Garrett going to dance with me?" :) Anyway, as I was doing all of this, I came across some letters I had written to Isabella, and I thought I would copy and paste one here. This was the first letter I had written to her and she was almost 4 months old. I don't know, maybe this is too personal, but seeing that I don't have a large blog following, I'm assuming Isabella won't mind.

Wednesday, May 12,2004
5:00pm
Dear Isabella,
I just checked on you as you were taking a nap and I couldn't help but stare at you in disbelief. Each day I am still amazed that you are here and I thank God for you. You are so sweetly laying in your crib with your arms above your head and still "sucking" your passy even though it is laying next to you. You are not quite 4 months old and yet I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by. So many things have passed that we will never get back again. Even though I lacked alot of sleep, I loved getting up and feeding you throughout the night, just you and me in the quietness of the night. You would finish your bottle and then I would cuddle you up against my chest and you would fall back asleep. I do love the stage you are in now - you're smiling all the time, making all kinds of new sounds, "talking" (especially to daddy), rolling over, but I just wish for one more day or even just a couple hours where I could hold you again when you were not even 5 pounds. We have done so much and you have changed so much in 4 months and yet I still remember the feeling I had the first time I held you. All of a sudden, I'm a mommy and I have this tiny little girl that I love instantly and unconditionally. As the quote goes "When they placed you in my arms, you slipped into my heart." Actually, I think you were growing there all along and I just didn't know it until I held you. I hope you always know just how much I love you! I wish I could bottle up exactly how I feel and give it to you when you're older so you could feel it too - because I'll never be able to put it into words. I hope that you know the amazing grace and goodness of God like mommy and daddy have learned. You are our special gift! We prayed for you for so long not knowing that all along God already had you picked out for us. So many tears we shed in hopes of a baby and now we shed them because He has given us more than we could have ever imagined. You have given me something that no other child could give - you made me a mommy and you have shown me that God's way is perfect! So little, and yet somehow through you I have learned so much already. If the Lord tarries, we have just begun this journey with you sweet girl and I'm so excited for what the Lord has in store for you. As a mother, I wish that somehow the tears I shed in hopes of you will be more than the tears you will have to shed in your lifetime. Most importantly though, my hope for you is that you accept Christ at an early age, that you love God with all your heart, and that you learn early that His way is Perfect.
I love you!
Mommy