Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Worse than the DMV!!!

So today Kenny and I decided we need to go by the Social Security office to file for Amelia's SSN/card. Lets just say it was HORRIBLE!!!! I'm not sure how Isabella's went by so quick, but not this time around. We've tried to go before and it was the same way, but we really wanted to get it done before taxes so we went ahead and waited...... and waited...... and waited...... 2 1/2 hours to be exact!!!!! You know how the DMV always seems to hire the grumpiest people to wait on you -- well they weren't grumpy here, but unbelievably disorganized and most of the time had 2 out of 5 windows open. They give you different letters for what you are waiting for and then your number. So, one lady would call out E35 and then a couple minutes later another guy would call out E31 -- ITS ALREADY BEEN CALLED! But no matter how much people complained, a couple of them refused to be swayed into doing things correctly, which meant we had to wait longer because they would call 2 E numbers, then 2 F numbers, 2 H numbers so when they called the wrong 2 E numbers, ones that had already been waited on, it obviously made the wait time longer. Irritating!!!
Then after that I ran to a store, a store where when Amelia was only a couple months old I got a comment that infuriated me. Although some adoption comments bother me, I have really tried just to chalk it up to ignorance and somehow not think about it, but then there are those comments that you can't believe someone would say with your precious children present. (I might have posted this story before) I really think this lady "meant" well, but after talking about adoption she said "Its nice that there are people like you that take unwanted children" UNWANTED? What if my girls were old enough to understand that? At that time, my mouth literally dropped open and I didn't know how to respond. I kindly said something and walked away about in tears worried about how my girls would feel if they heard this comment when they were older. Back to today, I went back to this store to search for something and an older lady that works there came up to me and started talking, when she asked something about the girls being adopted, it hit me, this was her.... and sure enough she started to say it "Its so nice that people like you adopt children..." and that's as far as I let her get - as soon as she was in the midst of saying children I said "Well, my husband and I feel like we are so extremely blessed that God would give us these precious girls" She smiled, I smiled and I left (after buying the cute little "glass slipper" decorations I came for. :) Again, I don't think she was purposely trying to be mean. She's a much older lady and I tend to get comments or looks from older women because I don't think many of them understand adoption. With Isabella, one older lady told me that it was neat how agencies "match" up families to look alike. Which in itself cracked me up because Yes, Isabella has dark curly hair, but if that was actually how things worked, I doubt they would say "Hey lets match up this white family with a hispanic/asian baby." Things were done differently 40 years ago and I think some people are stuck in that mentality -- but for me I don't want my children to ever hear that, I don't want one "ignorant" person's, whether well meaning or not, comment undo anything we've taught them. And I definitely don't want anyone to think we have done something "saint like" by adopting our girls. I believe I needed them much more than they needed me!!


melva said...

I feel for you to have to go through that at the SS office. It was probably that busy because everyone needed the ssn for taxes too.
I was glad to see that you all had a good Christmas and a Happy New Year start off. :)

Michelle said...

How frustrating at the SS office! I'm sure you're glad that's done and over with!

People really don't think before they speak - and there is a lot of ignorance in this world, especially when people are thinking about how things were "back then" or something. I know it's not the same thing exactly, but I've heard a few insensitive, ignorant remarks regarding Kayla too.

One incident I wrote up on my blog months ago happened at the library. It's a long story, but the librarian (who is in the children's section) said, "we have enough smart people in the world, we need more people like her." Referring to Kayla, who she called a "good hugger." Gee thanks lady. So I understand your frustration!

1girl2boys said...

Unbelievable. It's amazing what people actually let come out of their mouths. And unfortunately there will probably be more. Just try to keep cutting them off and saying what you said.

A Special Family said...

I am so sorry you had that experience. I constantly struggle with the same comments (as a transracial family through foster care), I like that people think about adoption, but I don't ever want my children to think people 'pity' them, or that they are lucky or that I am nice to do what I am.
I am a MOM, they are my KIDS enough said!