Thursday, January 18, 2007

Happy 3rd Birthday Isabella


Isabella is 3 years old today (considering it is after midnight as I'm writing this.) I can't believe it - I know it is so cliche to say "Time flies", but really it does. On this date, 3 years ago at 3 in the morning our precious Isabella was born. It was a Sunday and we knew nothing of her or her birthmother. Right now her birthmother was probably in labor, I was probably getting ready for bed. Right now, I was totally clueless to the fact that I was going to be a mommy the next day. I can't even express to you how much I wish I was there, not the one giving birth to her because then she wouldn't be who she is, but just there to hold her the very first moments of her life. You all will have to be patient with me because I promise you that the next few days I might be doing the emotional posts-- its one of those 3 years ago today..... type of things that you will be hearing a good bit of. As I was thinking of Isabella's birthday and as I've been planning her birthday party (side note here, today when I showed Isabella the little dress that she is going to wear to her party she said in a cute little whispery voice "Wow, Is Garrett going to dance with me?" :) Anyway, as I was doing all of this, I came across some letters I had written to Isabella, and I thought I would copy and paste one here. This was the first letter I had written to her and she was almost 4 months old. I don't know, maybe this is too personal, but seeing that I don't have a large blog following, I'm assuming Isabella won't mind.

Wednesday, May 12,2004
5:00pm
Dear Isabella,
I just checked on you as you were taking a nap and I couldn't help but stare at you in disbelief. Each day I am still amazed that you are here and I thank God for you. You are so sweetly laying in your crib with your arms above your head and still "sucking" your passy even though it is laying next to you. You are not quite 4 months old and yet I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by. So many things have passed that we will never get back again. Even though I lacked alot of sleep, I loved getting up and feeding you throughout the night, just you and me in the quietness of the night. You would finish your bottle and then I would cuddle you up against my chest and you would fall back asleep. I do love the stage you are in now - you're smiling all the time, making all kinds of new sounds, "talking" (especially to daddy), rolling over, but I just wish for one more day or even just a couple hours where I could hold you again when you were not even 5 pounds. We have done so much and you have changed so much in 4 months and yet I still remember the feeling I had the first time I held you. All of a sudden, I'm a mommy and I have this tiny little girl that I love instantly and unconditionally. As the quote goes "When they placed you in my arms, you slipped into my heart." Actually, I think you were growing there all along and I just didn't know it until I held you. I hope you always know just how much I love you! I wish I could bottle up exactly how I feel and give it to you when you're older so you could feel it too - because I'll never be able to put it into words. I hope that you know the amazing grace and goodness of God like mommy and daddy have learned. You are our special gift! We prayed for you for so long not knowing that all along God already had you picked out for us. So many tears we shed in hopes of a baby and now we shed them because He has given us more than we could have ever imagined. You have given me something that no other child could give - you made me a mommy and you have shown me that God's way is perfect! So little, and yet somehow through you I have learned so much already. If the Lord tarries, we have just begun this journey with you sweet girl and I'm so excited for what the Lord has in store for you. As a mother, I wish that somehow the tears I shed in hopes of you will be more than the tears you will have to shed in your lifetime. Most importantly though, my hope for you is that you accept Christ at an early age, that you love God with all your heart, and that you learn early that His way is Perfect.
I love you!
Mommy

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Isabella!!

(I remember night time feedings. The not-sleeping aspect of it was not so great, but the baby snuggles-- wonderful!)

Stilla Momma said...

WOW this was so beautiful. Happy birthday Isabella.

Anonymous said...

Soooo sweet! Happy Birthday, Isabella. Look at all that hair she had.

Becky said...

Ok, I'm an emotional wreck! That letter was absolutely beautiful and will mean more to her than all the birthday presents she will ever receive in her life. You are a wonderful mommy! Happy Birthday, Isabella! Such a beautiful baby!

Stephanie said...

I love your letter to Isabella. As I was reading it, I was hearing my 21-month old son screaming in the background (in willful defiance of going to sleep) and thinking that I, too, wish I could go back for just an hour or two to when he was less than five pounds and a tiny sweet bundle to cuddle and love. But only for a little while - because despite nearing the terrible twos, he is such a character and brings joy and laughter into our family in so many ways! Happy Birthday, Isabella ... and Happy Anniversary of Becoming a Mommy, DeAnna! :)

5KidMom said...

Thanks for sharing this little "peek" back into a very precious time.

Happy Birthday to Isabella, and Congratulations to you for getting to be her Mommy. It's hard sometimes, but it's the BEST job ever!

DeAnna said...

Yes she had a ton of hair! I remember alot of people telling us "Oh she'll lose it". She never did. At 10 months Amelia still doesn't have as much as Isabella did when she was born. :) Stephanie and Blaine -- you're right its a hard job, but I wouldn't trade it for the world and I wouldn't go back to when she was a baby for too long. She is too precious and so much fun now, even if she is into everything. :)

Spirit of Adoption said...

Ahhhh....THAT made me cry! Thanks for sharing that!! : ) And Happy Birthday, Isabella!!!!

Loraena Tuttle said...

Hi, thanks for introducing yourself! Wow, your girls are so beautiful. Reading your letter to your daughter brought tears to my eyes as well. We are just starting our official "wait" period, so thanks for the encouragement.

Sheryl said...

Happy Birthday Isabella!!!!
Hope Garrett dances with you. :-)

melva said...

Happy Birthday Late Isabella!!!!!
DeAnna thanks for sharing the note you wrote to Isabella. It is sooo sweet. I hope that her birthday party is lots of fun. I remember how she acted when Norma got her that outfit last year. Just ooohed and aaahed. She is precious.
Love you guys!!!:)

mirclbabe said...

HAPPY 3rd. BIRTHDAY ISABELLA!!!! Gosh they grow up so fast I cant beleive shes already 3 where does the time go?

Michelle said...

happy 3rd birthday Isabella! What a beautiful letter you shared with us - made me all weepy! She is so lucky to have you for her mommy!

Calico Sky said...

Happy Happy Birthday beautiful Isabella!

Kris said...

Wow, thank you for posting that letter. She's a gift from God--that's for sure. Happy Birthday, Isabella!

Bek said...

That was really sweet. Happy birthday to the big sister!!

Ahauna said...

I just found your blog and wanted to tell you how blessed you are with your two beautiful girls!

Happy Birthday, Isabella!


Kristin

Anonymous said...

That is a beautiful letter. I can't believe it has been 3 years!!