Thursday, September 14, 2006

I'm just a little sad tonight. My girlies are growing up.... Tonight I decided to clean out/reorganize Amelia's clothes - getting ready for the change of the seasons. I really hadn't put any of her clothes up that she's outgrown. So I was putting up her little newborn sleepers and her cute little 0-3 months outfits (most of which I had used for Isabella) and it made me sad that she has grown out of those and for some reason I got this sad feeling like I've missed something. A few outfits, I would look at and say things like "She wore that to bed the first night in the hotel" or "I should have gotten a picture of her in that" (As if the 100s of pictures I have of my girls loading down my computer aren't enough, I should have one of them in every outfit :) Why is it that time goes by so quickly? I honestly can remember so vividly the night we held Isabella for the first time and that's been almost 2 years and 8 months ago. And now Amelia - less than a week away from being 6 months old -- how is that possible? I don't want to turn back time both of my girls are in cute stages right now. Isabella is acting so grown up and way too independent, and we love to hear the things she comes up with and watch her little inquistive mind thinking (and the fact that she's been totally potty trained for almost 2 months is a pretty good perk too!) And Amelia has the funniest little giggle and she has been so cute trying to explore things around her, and every time I get close to her, she puts both of her hands up to touch my face and it melts my heart every time. No, I don't want to turn back time, I just wish I could slow it down just a little. I'm so afraid that I'm going to blink and they will be in school, it just happens that fast. To make things worse tonight, it hit me, this may be the last time I'm putting these little clothes up. Yes, someday we hope to adopt again, but who knows if and when that will definitely be possible (well, obviously God knows, but you know what I mean.) And if so, I'm sure my husband will be hoping for a little boy so he's not totally outnumbered. :) Not that any of that matters, it was just an extra little boost to send me crying - that my babies are no longer tiny babies, and I can't squish either of them back into those sweet little newborn clothes! So if I've missed anything, if I "should have" taken a picture of either of them in one of those outfits - I've missed it. But in the midst of my "mommy sadness", I'm very grateful. I honestly have been blessed more than I could ever truly express, sometimes I think more than I even realize. My girls are growing up, but they are healthy, happy, sweet little girls. And I love them more every day!! And although, time will continue to go too fast, I am going to continue to enjoy them every day and continue to enjoy every little stage they go through!
And I'm sure that in another 6 months when I'm putting more clothes up, I'll be back so have some tissue ready for me!!

6 comments:

Becky said...

Oh I totally know how you feel! I'm going through the same thing. It just never stops with every stage that you cross. I think certain "milestones" make you feel it even more though. We were watching an old home movie the other day. Matthew was 2 and Mary was 6 months, just like your girls. They were on the swings, giggling and having a great time. I said to them, "I want you guys to stay like this forever." Now, they are 8 and 7 and I don't know where the time has gone!!! Just think what a wreck we'll be when they're heading off to college. Ok, pass the tissues. Call me and I'll cry with you. :o)

kelly said...

Pass those tissues on down ! :)

One thing that we did, as far as the clothes, is picked one special tee shirt or outfit from that time and let a stuffed animal from their collection be the proud new owner... it makes the stuffy a little more special and lets us keep the memento without having to store the whole wardrobe. WARNING: Do not attempt after passing the 12-18 mos sizes :)

DeAnna said...

Just one - how could I pick just one special outfit?!? :)

Kris said...

How sweet. I don't have children of my own, but I can imagine seeing your kids grow up would be hard! Heck, just seeing Justin grow a millimeter over the summer made me wail! =)
By the way everybody--guess who took 3 independent steps?

melva said...

I know how tough it is to go through the clothes that no longer fit. And then you wish they could have wore this outfit a little longer. I need tissues myself. I saved alot of Casey's little clothes. I just couldn't bear to depart with them. I would think, she looked soooo cute in this. And I know that she will want it for her kids when she gets 40.:)

Shawnda said...

You are too cute : ) I remember feeling that before we found out we were pregnant!!! I'm not feeling it right now, but I trust I will be in 6 mo or so....right along with you! Ya know....there are a lot of grants and no interest loans out there for adoption IF finances are what holds you back from pursuing it sooner than later!! : ) Just a thought : )